Regret
by CsillaDream
Summary: If only Kukai had known that their fight might be their last one... Amu loves Ikuto, who has already gone to England to find his father... but Kukai has always loved Amu since they were kids / Oneshot with a possible sequel;;


**Csilla: Hey, look~ Steph wrote a new KukAmu oneshot :D**

**WARNING: Angst, small Ikuto-bashing (I love him, I do~ but it fits so hush), ONESHOT (please don't ask for a second chapter... MAYBE a sequel)**

( - - - - )

I ran, without bothering to tap the end call button on my cell phone; ignoring the complaints from my coach, teammates, brothers, and classmates - I didn't stop until my body threatened to come tumbling down under my weight just in time for me to stop outside the emergency entrance of the hospital. Short quick breaths stumbled from my mouth as I hurried inside, immediately demanding to shown her room from the nurse at the front desk. The woman didn't seemed to care for my attitude, not that I gave a damn! I just wanted to see how she was! Right as the obviously-irritated nurse was about to speak, I heard from behind me: "Kukai! Thank god you're here!" My best friend, Utau rushed over and hugged me; I wrapped my arms around her asking in a strained voice, "H-How i-is she?" as I did my best to push aside the panicked-filled tears.

"Come with me..." She lead me back into the other part of the hospital, passing room after room before she slowed her pace towards the end of the row of rooms.

Taking the chance, I brushed past her before I stood at the entrance of a hospital room where a petite rosette laid with machines attached to various parts of her body. _Amu!_

I rushed over to her side before taking hold of her pale hand, that was covered in bandages, careful not to disturb the IV in her hand. The tears that had threatened to let loose previously broke through my shield and slid down my cheeks before dripping down onto her skin.

"A-Amu..." I was completely in shock as my mind raced back to the last time we spoke - we had a fight that ended with both of walking away from the other out of anger. Looking at her down in such a fragile state, I regret every hour that passed from then til now...

I would give anything to see those honey-colored eyes looking back at me, even if they were angry or threatening to hit me with something; as I stood leaning on her bed, I did my best to glue every look that I had seen in her eyes since I met her all those years ago in my head. Feelings of being watched, I glanced back to see not only Utau standing there but also: Rima, Nagihiko and Tadase as well. I turned back to face Amu's unconscious body; "The doctors say that its possible she won't wake up..." Rima spoke, trying to stifle a sob.

_Shut up._

"...and that it was very possible she suffered some brain damage... though they aren't sure if it'll be temporary or permanently just yet..." Nagihiko, the short blonde's boyfriend, added moments later that only accomplished in sinking my heart further.

_Shut up.._

"...if she were to wake up, its unlikely she'll remember who any of us are..." Tadase let out a sigh.

_Shut up..._

"Kuk-" Utau began but was cut off when I barked: "Just shut up! All of you! This is Amu, we're talking about," turning on my heels to see the surprised expressions on my friends' faces before my tone of voice crumbled, "s-she'll ma-make i-it... sh-she ha-has," I could feels tears streaming down my cheeks again as the words continued pouring from my mouth, "to... I-I st-still ne-nev..."

My words died as I just stood there crying like a child and this time there would be no smiling rosette to brighten my mood; the thought alone made the tears race faster from my eyes. Turning back to look over Amu, my mind raced - _Was it my fault for the accident? Who was I kidding... it was... Me and my stupid ego... I should have apologized before I went to my stupid soccer game... then maybe she... she would be okay..._

Nervous fingers reached out as I brushed aside a few strands of the rosy hair that had me attracted to her in the first place; it still felt as soft as it had the time I held her when Ikuto disappeared.

_'Please wake up_' My thoughts whispered as I wiped the tears away with the sleeves of the long-sleeved shirt I had been wearing under my jersey; the sight of the white shirt made a smile break out as a happier memory of Amu flashed through my mind, "C'mon... don't you need to yell at me to change out of my smelly uniform..." The humor in my voice was forced as tears started falling again but slower than before.

Memories of the two of us surfaced in my mind and before I knew it, words were coming out of my mouth without getting the 'ok' from my brain: "Amu... you have to wake up," sitting on the edge of the hospital bed I continued, "we still haven't-I haven't even gotten the chance to apologize... I'm sorry, Amu... I'm sorry I was too stubborn to hear you out... I'm sorry I was a complete idiot... I'll always stay by your side even if you want to continue loving that foo-Ikuto... You're the most important person to me... You're my childhood friend... my best friend... and I guess I was stupid to think we could be more... I'm sorry... Please come back to me, Amu... I don't want to lose you... I don't mind staying best friends_ just... come back to me... please,_"

( - - - - )

**Csilla: I feel like I just vented;; I seem to like putting Amu in the hospital ._. Gomen~ Amu...**

**&this is a finished oneshot with a POSSIBLE sequel**

**&&no clue, why I've been in an angst mood... (both my editing and writing seem to draw on that... maybe I'm lonely) ;-;**

**&&&finally, this was inspired by a bunch of songs - anyone curious here's the list:**

Sanfour | Life Without You

Trapt | These Walls

Alex Goot | Safe & Sound (cover)

Sam Tsui | Don't You Worry Child (cover)

Lovers & Liars | Nothing Left Here To Burn

Parachute | Forever and Always

Boyce Avenue | On My Way

Boyce Avenue | More Things To Say

Thriving Ivory | Flowers For A Ghost

Kelly Clarkson | Dark Side

Hoobstank | The Reason

Eisblume | Louise

VNV Nation | Illusions


End file.
